almost got into 2 car accidents.

banged my dad's car's front bumper into a pillar.

other stuff happened that just adds on.

my heart has been in a mess today.

my nerves are frazzled.

its days like these that i just shouldnt have gotten out of bed.

its days like these that i just feel ugly and  of not much worth.

at least i had a good short crying session to get it all out of my system.

( and now i know that there must be some value to my life. cos YOU supernaturally protected me through every situation and preserved my life. )

thanks jie for the hug. i needed it.

thanks dee for the prayer. my heart needed it.

i'm so sorry about the car.

lesson learnt.

been meaning to blog for a few days.. so hang on tight. its going to be a long post. :)

song of the moment: kiss goodbye (Wang Lee Hom)

每一次和你分开，深深地被你打败

每一次放弃你的温柔， 痛苦难以释怀

每一次和你分开，每一次 kiss you goodbye

爱情的滋味此刻我终于最明白

my delicacy:beauty world

watched beauty world last tuesday. was fabulous!

the script, the music, the singers, the dancing, the lights, the lyrics.

ahh ahh ahh ahh ivy.. :)

Re and i were trying to find tense or serious/quieter moments in the musical to say "SUPPLIES!" to each other. HAHAHA! we were the only 2 morons who were stifling our laughters at the climatic scenes. There was a song after the intermission that the cabaret girls said "SURPRISE!" and we were so sad that we missed the perfect moment to say "SUPPLIES!" with them. haha.

i absolutely love my kakiak. :)

my revelation: the gallery

last thursday, while i was on MC. i was watching tv at home. 

i watched the show Covershot. The show takes ordinary older ladies and turning them into models for a day and display their huge covershot in the streets of NY Times Square.

The lady that was chosen to be made over for that episode said something that struck me. Something along the lines of "I feel so happy that there are so many famous and talent professionals who are making me over.  I mean like..who am I that they are doing this for me?" followed by a huge grin on her face.

And yes, it got me thinking.

If i were in her shoes, and these huge fashion names are pampering me, i too would feel so blessed and undeserving. then the spiritualising moment came.

 The King and Creator of the WHOLE UNIVERSE dotes on me! ME!

wow.

Take for example, a famous painter. When he paints someone else, you can see his talent. If he does a self-protrait. You can see and understand so much more of him, because he chooses to express a side of him through that painting.

we are made in the image of GOD.

HE did not just sign off His Name on us, His creation, He molded us to be like Him. To show and express who He is. When you look at different people, each of us show a characteristic of God. When we show grace to people, when we love each other, and just be like Him, that's when people can see the Creator's fingerprints in our lives.

we are called to be the Ambassadors of Christ

When you choose something to represent your work, back to the example of paintings, you would choose your BEST. 

we are HIS BEST.

So we are like paintings hanging in different galleries, showing the Master's Work and letting people know who the Master IS, every single day of our lives.

As Dave Park mentioned, we are not to show others what the final product is, but the growth that takes place within us.

how much of the Creator do I show to others each and everyday?

can others see the Master's Work in you?

my days: the work

I wake up smiling. I end the day smiling.

I look forward to going to work everyday.

why?

because i'm so super blessed.

My friends at work make me very happy. They are really fun to be around and very nice too.

I'm really REALLY happy to have them.

My supervisor is really nice. And i just got to know who my NTU tutor is going to be. 

And he is none other than my mentor! :) 

though i'm not really close to him, cos he only sees my face once a sem. 

But i'm really happy cos he's really nice too!

only 2 out of 6 of us got him. the other 4 are under this other tutor.

You answered my prayers! :) thank You.

the friends

On monday,5 of us moved up from the scrutiny of our supervisors on the 1st floor office, to the sweet unsupervised freedom in the lab on the 4th floor. :)

There is this poly attachment boy there too. called kailong.

he is my 开心果. (don't know if its the correct words. haha.)

he makes me super happy. very lethal.

he doesnt even need to say anything, i just need to look at his face, and i'm laughing like crazy.

i know it sounds really mean, but he is really funny!

cos he is always um-chio-ing when he talks. his face is like those who stay at home and play computer and slack kind. those seemingly quiet soft spoken type.

He would look like he is going to say something serious, like he has been thinking for a while, then out of his mouth, either comes out something cold or something that is super deadpan humour.

To andrea lee, that is the deadliest humor! 

to be able to keep a straight face and say something super hilarious.

phwoar. i really cannot take it.

at this rate, either one of us has to wear a paperbag over our head.

Thuzar and Xiaoyu make for really good company. Jon, changji and lionel are good makan khakis.Kaida and nevin never fail to make me laugh like crazy also. 

Kaida especially, he is another lethal laughing weapon.

Me: hey kailong, what's the meaning of your name?

Kailong: don't have meaning.

Me: huh? sure have meaning la. what kai is your kai?

KL: kai actually no meaning one. must put together with another word then got meaning.

me: okay. so what does kailong mean?

KL: actually, kai and long cannot be together. because then they will have no meaning.

me: HUH?! hahaha. that doesnt make sense la!  -rolls chair over to kaidai- hey kaida, what's the meaning of your name?

kaida: to return with victory.

me: then what does kailong mean?

KD: to return with a dragon la! hahahahha.

me: -laughs (until tears) for a good 3-5mins-

when i told eugenia about this conversation, she started laughing.

Eugenia: hahaha! my brother's name is Kaixiong la! so what..His name means to return with a bear?!

Its non-stop laughing for me everyday.

pity kailong is leaving in february.

i need to take a photo or video of him before he leaves. haha.

the security guards

at my work place, before leaving the first floor lift landing area, you have to go through these metal detectors, because earlier some workers tried to smuggle the gold wires out of the assembly line. 

There are two lines, one for those that have things on them that will make them beep, and another line, which is the express line, for those who will go through without any metal detected.

So everyday, i aim to becoming soundless. so i can go to the express line.

On the days i am soundless, i become very happy, and the guards will like "phwoar..not bad ar. today soundless ar." haha.

and i realise i unconsciously  either jump or run a bit, cos the other day one of the guards kidded with me.."girl, no jumping or running allowed ar." 

The guards are really nice. Very friendly and funny.

one of my happiest days: 23rd Jan 2008

today, i've been kept happy throughout.

on the train to work, i felt really blessed reading my book the Jesus I never knew by Philip Yancey. (will expound more next time)

Then in the morning, while waiting for access into the lab, I got to plait my friend's hair while he did a sudoku puzzle.

After lunch, we went to the nearby minimart, and i found a long lost childhood sweet! BOBDOG COLA CANDY STICKS!

Went out for Kel's birthday dinner at vivo! with Jer,drey,justin, uncle sampson! :) and i found pairs of canvas pumps that i've been looking for! :) and my darling sister of mine, decided to buy 2 pairs for me as a pre-birthday present! so uber happy! :)


And look what came in the mail! :) my film camera that i bought online! whheeee!

Everything has got me smiling throughout the day. :)

thank You so much.

phew. that's about it. :)

you know i'm such a fool for you, you've got my wrapped around your finger.

do you have to, do you have to, do you have to let it linger?

When your body is unwell,
the best remedy for the heart,
is the perfect mixture of music with environment.

LFO is now my favourite rainy day music. :)

your heart is safe with me.

Sitting in front of a screen
Having no access
Causes one to feel bored
And feeling quite excess

Then enlightenment dawns
When an account was discovered
But alas firewalls
still leave the world covered

Noises and mumbles
Sound of typing keys
At 12, stomach grumbles
And most get up and leave

Too many options,
Too little time
Too many people,
Too little dime

Then off they go again,
Back to 4 white walls
Working hard at researching
Till 6 o’clock calls

its funny how when someone badly wants to be well liked

he/she ends up at the other extreme.

i am totally not impressed.

at all.

shania twain's lyrics keep playing in my head

" that don't impress me much."

i need patience.

My NINJA SUIT!! 

super unflattering.

but UBER COOL!

my industrial attachment just started this week at a semiconductor company.

and i get to wear this NINJA SUIT to go into the clean room!

okay. its not exactly called a ninja suit. but a jumpsuit of some sort.

the face mask part is irritating though, cos when i exhale it fogs up my glasses.

anyway, work is not bad. the waking up at 6am is still the hardest part for now.

my supervisor rocks. he's quite funny. and the most hardworking at training us.

which is really a great blessing. :)

he is an answered prayer! haha! ( my mum and i have been praying about my IA for a while :)  )

there is a total of 9 NTU IA students at this company. 6 of us are in the same R&D department. 

so we go lunch together and go training together too. :)

hopefully the awkward getting to know each other stage will be over soon and people will loosen up and get more retarded.

the lack of singing and laughing is taking its toll on me.

i've resorted to just humming when there are hardly anyone around me.

trust me.

i'm dying.

but yayness. my new vocal class module is starting this saturday. :) happy.

learnt alot the past 3 days.

MS 3002 is coming to life for me. 

it all makes more sense now. 

my IA project seems to be cut out for me. 

not an admin. kind of IA. 

but one that really requires me to think and apply.

scary and exhilarating all at the same time.

yay?

first xroads for the semester tomorrow!

so exciting. as i told tweet, its like knowing you're getting a present but not knowing what its going to be like. yay! :)

thanks tweet for everything. thanks xroads comm too! :) greatly appreciated!! :)

goodnight ya'll! :)

You'll go forth a little sronger

with a fresh supply of grace,

if each day you meet the Savior

in a secret, quiet place. -Adams

A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold

in settings of silver. - proverbs 25:11

day of firsts.

my first lunch by myself. :)

i had to go collect my registered mail from the post office.

so i decided to grab lunch since i'm already at lot one.

:)

so armed with my book, i sat myself down at delifrance.

and had a good lunch! :)

so proud of myself.

i've always found it intimidating to eat by myself in public.

but it was fun. finally got some me-time. :) 

so i walked around with my brown paper parcel.

which by the way, got alot of stares and weary looks from people. 

got home. watched discovery channel.

and they were showing the different famous ice cream parlors in america.

i started craving for a banana split.

with some encouragement from caroline, i found myself downstairs buying 2 cups of cravio ice cream.

:)

its all about the vanilla, baby.

and really retardedly i was really very excited about getting to eat my banana split.

placing the icecream in a bowl and cutting up a banana, with the first mouthful, i was on cloud 9.

super satisfying. :)

my first make-shift banana split. :)

signing off,

satisfied home-stayer. :)

it was a busy busy month of december.

but i had a blast! :)

outings, camps, conference, parties. loved it.

:)

2007 was a good year.

really saw how much i grew in God, and not only for myself but also the ones around me.

gave a testimony last night at watchnight service.

while preparing for it, i was looking through my older blog entries.

and i realised that all i asked for on the 1st of jan 2007, it has all come true in the year.

and i really thank YOU for everything.

:)

i'm really grateful for family and friends who are in my life as well.

for not only the great and crazy times, but in times which are painful.

its really in those moments that i grow alot, and i thank all those who stood by me. :)

as seen in the photo collage, that's my december.

SM training camp, small bbq gathering, parents' anniversary, sentosa, youth camp, enting's birthday party, christmas! :) and meta.

in between gatherings here and there as well.  :) always a joy.

i really thank God for youth camp. for the rain that He held back on the day we were playing games. for the transformation He has started in the youth, and especially for just showing up at our camp and moving in the midst of us. :)

2008 will be an exciting year. :)

next week i will be starting my attachment for the semester.

i am quite psyched about it, cos its something i have been praying for.

ohh..and amazingly. the company that i managed to get was my 2nd choice. :)

and i'm really happy. though its all the way in serangoon. :)

pray for me k? pray for good working relations and also for opportunities to at least sow a lil. :)

anyhoo, happy new year everyone! :)

may it be one that sees personal growth in you. 

while reading my past entries, i realise that there were so much going on behind the scenes that i so easily masqueraded. but i thank You, that You always see behind the mask and become my sole comfort. :) i'm looking forward to this new year with You to taste of Your goodness and testify of Your faithfulness. thank You, Lord.  with lots of love, me.

YOUTH CAMP IS COMING!

:)

i'm red and i'm itchy.

please, somebody, scratch me!

i woke up this morning..and realised that my unconscious scratching was due to my sudden outburst of rash! argh!

i got this about 3-4 years ago, and the doctor said probably an allergy.

but we never figured what was wrong.

and now! NOW! argh.

so i bathed, and powdered. and everything was fine.

until half way through my wonderful sentosa nua-ing outing.

i started itching again.

after bathing, i was worse!

it became full-fledge i-am-itching-so-bad-please-ice-me.

the doctors were closed by the time i was back.

thankfully audrey has some cream to help me.

but i still itch. and i really really want to scratch!!!

ROAR!

sentosa today was absolute fun!

went with drew, eugenia, twin, hum jing peng and monkey.

really happy. 

the right company is always the most important factor in determining the success of an outing.

if ever i was marooned on an island, i want them with me.

hahaha. 6 of us and a camera, and it is absolutely side-splitting.

jem: "please don't tell me taking photos are going to be the highlight of our day."

but well, fortunately it wasn't.

the highlight of the day was... Andrew's left arm dislocating!

it sounds serious.

and it was....

it was SERIOUSLY HILARIOUS!

we were playing captain's ball. twin was going to pass the ball to eugenia, and andrew intercepted by doing the "swiping" action with his left arm.

i was seeing from the back, and i saw him hold on to his arm and saying its very pain.

then he just moved his arm about his shoulder joint and popped it back in place.

and then he said "Phwoar! shiok! okay already."

for a moment the thought "oh no! we have to send drew to the hospital or something.." went pass my brain. but before the thought was complete, i was kneeling on the sand laughing like crazy!

it was so funny cos he was laughing about it after popping it back. the change from serious to comedy was drastic.

eugenia and twin were UTTERLY TRAUMATIZED for a while. 

especially eugenia, she had full view of the dislocation.

drew dislocated his arm in army last time, and this is the 7th or 8th time it has dislocated by itself. 

so he figured how to pop it back in. we heard him mention it before, but never really SAW it dislocate before. 

today was really enjoyable. 

Thank You for holding back the rain. :)

i'm going for a SLR photography class with my older cousin tomorrow.

a lil nervous. but mostly excited. 

love learning new stuff. :)

the holidays are finally here.

though the last paper was an absolute horrid way to start the holidays.

it was a killer paper and it really resulted in a massacre.

its over its over! and the holidays are here here here! :)

yay. 

mickey mouse crop circles.

how ever did our worlds collide?
were they apart to begin with?
i feel like i don't know you anymore sometimes.
yet it seems like we were never that much different.
things that once held such similiarity,
we were once thought to have perfect telepathy.
you can still read me like a book,
somehow i feel like i can't do the same to you.
the memories haunt my everyday,
a little somehow.
but i need to walk away,
and leave it all behind the blue rosed door.

Tracy:

Can't cha feel my heartbeat keeping perfect time?

And all because he...

touched me

He looked at me and stared, yes he

bumped me

My heart was unprepared when he

tapped me

And knocked me off my feet

One little touch

Now my life's complete 'cause when he

Nudged me

Love put me in a fix, yes it

Hit me

Just like a ton of bricks, yes my

Heart burst

Now i know what life's about

One little touch

And love's knocked me out and...

I can hear the bells

My head is spinning

I can hear the bells

Something's beginning

Everybody says

That a girl who looks like me

Can't win his love

Well, just wait and see 'cause

I can hear the bells

Just hear them chiming

I can hear the bells

My temperature's climbing

I can't contain my joy

'Cause I finally found the boy

I've been missin'

Listen!

I can hear the bells

- Hairspray

Enchanted and hairspray all within a day?

YEAAHH BAABBYY!!!

i'm a believer man. i'm a believer!

something within me flutters.

my paper today was..well.
could have been done better.
amazingly through this week's papers, the things that i tended(unconsciously) to pay more attention to came out. or at least something along that line of theory.
so PRAISE GOD! :)
i prayed this morning "Lord, i know that by my efforts i shouldn't get good grades, but please help me to at least pass."

Exams are really a faith stretching period for me. And a humbling one too.
Mercifully, He always proves Himself faithful time and time again.
:)

Anyway, i went to our school's computer shop to help my sister buy a Macbook.
so after depositing a partial amount and all, i realised that the girl gave me a tax invoice that i realised later that i couldn't use for my sister to claim money.
so i asked her nicely if i could get a receipt too.
and she answered, sounding quite exasperated, that she couldn't because its from the company and blah blah blahh...
i was taken aback for a while, because i didnt understand why she had to answer me with such tone and facial expression.
so i asked the next question nicely again, and she still sounded exasperated.
in my heart i was like "hey! it doesn't help for you to SOUND exasperated, and not provide any reasonable explanation to me why you can't."

Point number one:
andrea does not like it when people show attitude UNNECESSARILY when she asks a question NICELY.


so i called my mum, to ask if tax invoice can be used and all, then i called my sister if it can be claimed if my name is there and stuff.
and then i asked the girl if i could get just a print out receipt with a number on it or something that didn't have my name to it.
she shaked her head, i went back on the phone with my sister and i heard her walk towards the back and tell her manager "she's on the phone again.."
unnecessary. seriously unnecessary.

so i asked the other counter staff to let me speak to the manager, so the manager came out talked to my sister for a while, and then she nicely explained to me why she couldn't issue it and all. the silly girl was nodding her head in agreement at the side. so i finally understood the whole hoo-ha and all. and so i would go back tomorrow to finally settle it and all.

but either way i was so fuming mad on the inside, as we all know that when you kek the anger inside, it multiplies by many folds.
so when we walked out of the shop, andrew got a whole earful of me complaining about that girl's attitude. RAH!

people in the service line, should have sensible patience.fullstop.

-breathe-

on a lighter note, threadless is having their amazing $10 SPREE!
which makes andrea a very VERY happy girl. :)

andrew: your moods change very fast ar. scary.

after our paper today, i am found online shopping, drew is found facebooking.

i want my holidays to start NOW.

the size of my eyes seem to be inversely proportional to my age.

sigh.

Every time I disqualify myself.

Your grace and mercy always put me back on track.

The only one whose wisdom, knowledge, humour and wit i will truly adore from now on will be Yours.

Yet again, i find myself in the rut of comparing myself to others.

be it in expressing oneself, confidence, wit, general knowledge, knowledge of God, musical talent, passion, smartness, etc etc.

and i think to myself "why am i not like that?"

i always live in the shadow of underachievement.

blame it on my chronic procrastination.

and yet convincing myself and the people around me the whole time that i believe in no matter what you do, one must try his/her best.

putting it into practice is much harder than saying it. 

shortchanging myself and i don't feel the pinch.

So today, i brought it all before Him, told Him how i felt about not stewarding what He has given to me well. Emptying myself of all these worries and surrendering to once again be His humble vessel.

And the verse came to me that each of us are given different measure of talents and gifts so that none of us can compare and boast about it. We're all on level playing ground.

That amazes me. 

THAT is God's wisdom.

Humbled once again. In awe once again.

All that He has given to each of us, is for His glory to be shown. 

let me be a minister.

Personal Glory is nothing. Changed lives are everything.

enrolled in the School of Beattitudes.

i still miss you like crazy.

God of all splendor - Vineyard

God of all splendor, wonder and might

Awesome Creator, Author of Life

Master and Saviour, wholly divine

God of all splendor, wonder and might

Who is like You, oh Lord

Worthy of all praise

Who is like You, oh Lord

Let all the earth proclaim

Your kingdom forever

Love shining bright

God of all splendor, wonder and might

Essence of beauty and all that is right

King of all Glory, Heaven's pure Light

God of all splendor, wonder and might

life's been busy.

but i'm still enjoying every bit of it.

crusade activities have slowed down.

lectures and tutorials have officially stopped today.

its now full-fledge exam mugging time.

i have kinda officially joined our "friends of the library" club which comprises of some of the crusaders.

"chopping" seats 820 in the morning is tough.

especially when it nears 9 am.

everyone keeps coming in.

and i have to fight off people who wanna take a seat when i need to book the whole table.

aii..

thankfully my support(crystal) comes in by 915. haha.

my december seemingly is getting packed yet again.

with youth camp to plan. and meta. and christmas.

YAY.

exams start next friday.

no where near prepared for the exams.

as usual.owell. at least this time round it doesnt feel that bad.

i think a part of me was gone when you died.

my eyes still get teary when i look at your photos.

a good friend of mine really went away when you did.

i miss you,lee.