i don't; i won't; get involved.

but my hand reached out anyway.

why do i feel wronged when i wronged.

hard and soft at the worst times.

its that time again.

sing me a love song all about hate.

tell me a joke about someone who fell and hurt.

kick me in the shin, punch me in the gut.

why did my mouth say "Yes" when "no" was in my heart?

the whole scenario seems so ironic.

why is it so hard to say those words when they are the title of a song that's on my repeat mode.

ha.

life's funny this way.

I've had many tears and sorrows

I've had questions for tomorrow

There've been times I didn't know

right from wrong

But in every situation

God gave blessed consolation

That my trials come to only make me strong

Through it all, through it all

I've learned to trust in Jesus

I've learned to trust in God

Through it all, through it all

I've learned to depend upon His Word

I've been to lots of places

And I've seen a lot of faces

There've been times I felt so all alone

But in my lonely hours

Yes, those precious lonely hours

Jesus let me know that I was His own

I thank God for the mountains

And I thank Him for the valleys 

I thank Him for the storms 

He brought me through for if I've never had a problem

I wouldn't know that He could solve them

I'd never know what faith in God could do.

i want to walk with You everyday of my life.

songs of my childhood


-lollipop by the chordettes

perfect harmony and dashing guys from yesteryears.


- let's do the twist again by chubby checker

dancing that shaped our present world.


- johnny angel by shelley fabares

effortless mesmerizing singing.


-earth angel by the temptations


-locomotion by kylie minogue

i sang this song on my way to nursery almost every day. I LOVE THE HAIR!
talking about vintage stuff.
my mum found my exercise book from my primary 1.
it was meant for doing homework for my mum, journalling and all.


IT WAS BLANK.
:)
my mum comment " see la. since young always don't want to do work."
what can i say? old habits die hard.

my all-time feel-good gospel song. :)

unblinded to faults.
still stuck behind these walls.

the tears on the verge of outflowing.
don't ask me what the source really is.

faith pleases You.
I really hope You're happy.
cos You're the sole thread i'm hanging onto right now.

the world is going into a blur.

i am hanging on every word You say. Even if You don't want to speak tonight its alright, alright with me.

last week of the holidays.

what ever happened to the rest of it?

i guess its the price for me to pay to end my FYP earlier. roar

so many things have happened. great number of gatherings and outing and crazy good times.

too much inertia to start writing and piecing them altogether. 

i can tell you the things i have yet to do though..

1. go to sentosa.

2. go to sentosa.

3. go to sentosa.

4. get my sanity back before school reopens.

laopo is in aussie. ie. withdrawal symptoms from hearing and calling her.

ayeeba also in aussie.  ie. dont get to really talk to her.

amelia is in singapore. but i still dont really get to talk to her too.

aii.

i'm sorry.  :(

it feels weird that we didnt get to have our chalet stayover this holidays.

that's why i have yet to get point 4. (refer to above)

we're having some random/impromptu crusade dinner tonight.

i think its pretty exciting to see who is gonna turn up. 

i miss weiyee, monkey and gabriel porkypork.

can you all don't work and come back to ntu and stay in hall and study in NIE with us please? just for one more year?we'll order more golden pillows! please?

we had SM retreat and FOC last week in aloha changi. (it was like really good family fun. cos we were all more or less under one roof. :)  )

but i dont think i have recovered my sleep yet.

i'm still sleepy.

its 9.47am on a tuesday now. 

and i need to be in school.

my beloved nitrogen glove box is calling my name.  aahhh!!

watch these videos...they are what's keeping my sanity for a while now...

napoleon and tabitha D'umo are crazily talented. its like..lyrical hiphop i think. 

rocks rocks ROCKS!

should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements? even if they lead no where?

-"chasing pavements" by adele

funny how we can never quite seem to loose ourselves from each other.

travelling ho chi minh

3 days into my FYP.

and today..my mentor got a breakthrough of some sort. 

a fantastic success.

which leads to a major leap in the right direction for my FYP.

i'm so super happy.

just 24hours ago I was starting to feel anxious about how much planning and cracking of my grey matter is needed for my FYP.

and now..at least the dirt road is uncovered.

i guess i need to cement it in now.

yayyee.

Thank You Lord, for today's great success. 

Thank You also for the 2.5hours workshop held by the italian prof today. though it was a tad bit long, but it gave me a clearer background. 

Thank You for phoebe, vera and victor too. :)

happy.

NO MORE looking at what is on other's dish and comparing them to what i have on mine.

NO MORE downplaying what God has so generously given to me.

NO MORE impossibles, because by FAITH all things are made possible.

faithful stewardship.

that's all i ask.

excellence in the knowledge of Christ and glorying in the sole fact 

that I understand and know You.

that's my only goal.

hunger and thirst.

Satisfaction from the eating of Your Word and experiencing You with all my senses.

lyrics from a song I wrote about a month ago that keeps playing in my head:

Why does my foot slip each time I look away?

Why does my heart beat different every time I stray?

Why does the way I look at things start to turn grey?

Lord, I know I've broken Your heart so many times.

Lord, I want to live my life with Your hand in mine.

Lord, this time, I want to make it right.

Please help me Lord, to walk in Your Light.

-"Return" written by Andrea Lee. :)

I can never fall too far where Your grace can't catch me. :)

i guess apologising and explaining/justifying oneself back to back, 

never does quite work as planned.

shot myself in the foot

thanks. just thanks.

i so needed to end my day with a bitter taste in my mouth.

what? you couldn't tell the hesitation in my tone each time you brought it up.

perhaps we don't know each other as much as we thought we do.

irony.

i was just talking about this kind of hurt.

put me in a world where i am exposed to new music everyday.

put me in a world with limitless revolutionary knowledge.

put me back on track.

When we were in the darkest night
And wondered if our eyes would ever see the light
You were there, Lord
When we were in the stormy gale
And wondered if we'd ever live in peace again
You were there, Lord
You were there in the struggle
You were there in the fight
You were there all the time

We praise You - the God of our yesterdays
We praise You - the God who is here today
We praise You - our God as tomorrow comes

So whatever lies ahead
Whatever roads our grateful hearts will come to tread
You'll be there, Lord
We will fix our eyes on You
And know that there is grace enough to see us through
You'll be there, Lord
You'll be there in the struggle
You'll be there in the fight
You'll be there all the time

We praise You - the God of our yesterdays
We praise You - the God who is here today
We praise You - our God as tomorrow comes
We thank you - for grace in our yesterdays
We thank you - for peace in our hearts today
We thank you - our joy, as tomorrow comes
We will trust you, God

You're always closer than we know
Always more involved and in control
We will trust our lives to You -
The One who was and is and is to come

- "God of our yesterdays" by Matt Redman

i've been really ministered to by this song.

its really assuring to know that in the past, whenever I was hurt, cried and was struggling with issues. He was always there and He knew. 

Even in the future, He knows what I will go through, and He will give me grace to see me through. He truly never changes.

always more involved and in control

thank You.

I want to be like Apostle Paul when he said in Philippians 3:13&14

"Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus."

to lay aside every burden that will hinder me from running this race.

You are my all in all

Istanbul (not constantinople)

i've loved this song for the longest time.
just haven't been able to get the mp3 for it.
the first video is in spanish i think. i think.can't quite make out what he is singing. but he gets A+ for entertainment and voice quality. :)
the second video is a cartoon. really cute. :)




Istanbul was Constantinople
Now it's Istanbul, not Constantinople
Been a long time gone, Constantinople
Now it's Turkish delight on a moonlit night

Every gal in Constantinople
Lives in Istanbul, not Constantinople
So if you've a date in Constantinople
She'll be waiting in Istanbul

Even old New York was once New Amsterdam
Why they changed it I can't say
People just liked it better that way

So take me back to Constantinople
No, you can't go back to Constantinople
Been a long time gone, Constantinople
Why did Constantinople get the works
That's nobody's business but the Turks

Istanbul (Istanbul)
Istanbul (Istanbul)

Even old New York was once New Amsterdam
Why they changed it I can't say
People just liked it better that way

Istanbul was Constantinople
Now it's Istanbul, not Constantinople
Been a long time gone, Constantinople
Why did Constantinople get the works
That's nobody's business but the Turks

So take me back to Constantinople
No, you can't go back to Constantinople
Been a long time gone, Constantinople
Why did Constantinople get the works
That's nobody's business but the Turks

Istanbul

chinese songs are getting stuck in my head...

看不见你的笑我怎么睡得着　

你的声音这么近我却抱不到

没有地球　太阳还是会绕　

没有理由　我也能自己走

你要离开我知道很简单　

你说依赖是我们的阻碍

就算放开但能不能别没收我的爱　

当作我最后才明白

-周杰伦 ： 彩红 

如果要让我活 让我有希望的活

我从不怕爱错 就怕没爱过

如果能有一天 再一次重返光荣

记得找我 我的好朋友

－ 五月天 ：孙悟空

and so are english songs..

Bye bye love

Bye bye happiness, hello loneliness

I think I'm-a gonna cry

Bye bye love, bye bye sweet caress, hello emptiness

I feel like I could die

Bye bye my love goodbye

There goes my baby with someone new

She sure looks happy, I sure am blue

She was my baby till he stepped in

Goodbye to romance that might have been

I'm-a through with romance, I'm a-through with love

I'm through with a'countin' the stars above

And here's the reason that I'm so free

My lovin' baby is through with me

- ray charles : bye bye love

I will beg my way into your garden

I will break my way out when it rains

Just to get back to the place where I started

So I can watch you back all over again

Hold on to whatever you find baby

Hold on to whatever will get you through

Hold on to whatever you find baby

I don't trust myself with loving you

Who do you love?

Who do you love?

Who do you love me or the thought of me? me or the thought of me?

Hold on to whatever you find baby

Hold on to whatever will get you through

Hold on to whatever you find baby

I don't trust myself with loving you

- john mayer : i don't trust myself

Alone again tonight

Without someone to love

The stars are shining bright

So one more wish goes up

Oh I wish I may

And I wish with all my might

For the love I’m dreaming of

And missing in my life

You’d think that I could find

A true love of my own

It happens all the time

To people that I know

Their wishes all come true

So I’ve got to believe

There’s still someone out there who

Is meant for only me

I guess I must be wishing on

Someone else’s star

It seems like someone else keeps getting

What I’m wishing for

Why can’t I be as lucky

As those other people are

I guess I must be wishing

On someone else’s star

I sit here in the dark

And stare up at the sky

But I can’t give my heart

One good reason why

Everywhere I look

It’s lovers that I see

It seems like everyone’s in love

With everyone but me

I guess I must be wishing on

Someone else’s star

It seems like someone else keeps getting

What I’m wishing for

Why can’t I be as lucky

As those other people are

I guess I must be wishing

On someone else’s star

- bryan white : someone else's star

they sound pretty emo. but i'm not.

somehow they keep sticking to me. 

and i need to inject a lil bit of hairspray and planetshakers in to balance things out. haha.

i guess i'm just going through a pensive state once again. :)

I heard story just the other day,

About man who gave His life away for me

Complicated yet it seems so clear

If I open up my heart, it be so near to me

I believe in You

I believe in You

I heard story just the other day,

About man who gave His life away for me

Complicated yet seems so clear

If I open up my heart, it be so near to me

I believe in You

I believe in You

I believe in You

I believe Your word as set me free 

with all that I am

I will live my life for You

I believe

I read a story just the other day

About the way You healed blind man, made him see

Here I stand crying out to You

all i need is faith to see a miracle in me

- Planetshakers : i believe

first things first..

HELLO KAI TAT!

hahaha. :)

work has been good. :) still am not winning our sudoku challenges, still have not updated my logbook, still have not finished my report.

but..it is really fun working with the whole bunch of them. :) 

we went to shokudo for dinner the other night. kailong came too.

 the food was uber sedap.

i kept laughing at kailong though. his mannerisms just amuse and tickle me so much.

真的是我的开心果。

my FYP has been finalised! though i have forfeited my 2 months holiday to complete majority of the experimentations. This equates to me having little to do for the rest of my final year! :) 

I'm really grateful for this opening. 

today, lion twin laopo kenneth and i went out for dinner. brought them to shokudo (can you tell how impressed i was by my first visit?). but alas, this time round, the food didnt taste as good as i remembered it to be. and the service wasnt as efficient in clearing our plates.

pretty drastic change in such a short period of time.hmm.

but the company was fun! :) this dinner was a sort of farewell to lion. cos he'll be leaving for perth on saturday. 

my SLR battery died on me. because why? because our "dear" kenneth teo was happily snapping photos of the entire place when shir and i went to order.

roar. that monkey.

thankfully shir also brought her camera.

kenneth teo. stop trying to cheat a drink out of me you monkey! roar!chikekdara!

it felt like one of those days when the inevitable need to grow up looms abovehead.

i really don't want to grow up so fast.

soon, we'll  be hitting the age when your friends one by one get married, get jobs, achieve dreams and compromise on some.

i'm glad that You'll still never change and You will still call me Child when i'm walking with a cane. :)

Went for Twin's auditions with shir on saturday. must say i'm really proud of him.

It really takes alot of one to follow one's dream. but i must say, the satisfaction of fulfilling them is priceless.

Sometimes the things that he says reminds me of principles that i let my foot slip away from.

"I want to make music that will bring hope to people."

me too.

Though our target groups and audiences are different, that's what I cling on to every time i walk off stage after a worship set that didnt go smoothly.

"I'll do better next time. I'll prepare my heart more next time. I'll let You have all control."

I know I havent been keeping my motivation seriously recently, getting a lil habitual to choose songs and go through worship.

but Lord, i want to bring it higher. i really want to be a emptied vessel used by You so that others can reach out to You as You reach out to them. to bring hope to them in their darkest hour. to know they are not alone.

If our greatest need had been information, God would have sent us an educator.

If our greatest need had been technology, God would have sent us a scientist.

If our greatest need had been money, God would have sent us an economist.

But since our greatest need was forgiveness, God sent us a Saviour.

He became like us, so we could become like Him.

Angels still sing, and the star still beckons.

He loves each one of us like there was only one of us to love.

Faith is trusting what the eyes can't see.

Eyes see the prowling lion. Faith sees Daniel's angel.

Eyes see storms. Faith sees Noah's rainbow.

Eyes see giants. Faith sees Canaan.

Your eyes see your faults. Your faith sees your Saviour.

Your eyes see your guilt. Your faith sees His blood.

Your eyes see your grave. Your faith sees a city whose builder and maker is God.

"i only jump into big arms"

the very same arms that defeated death are the arms awaiting you.

Next time you wonder if God can forgive you, 

(remember that) the very hands nailed to the cross are open for you.

with such moving statements made. 

how can max lucado not become my newest must-read.

He is really blessed to be a teacher.

:)

i have not been called to the wisdom of this world, but to a God who is calling out to me.

a whole lot of things have been happening. hardly been at home.
I had dinner with my IA friends, i had good catching up meetings with friends, i had singing lessons, photography lessons, mosaic, birth of my nephew Jared, celebrated my 22nd.. a whole bunch of great great moments.

don't really know where to start. don't really know what to say.

all i know is that i'm really blessed.
so many people who care for me, to bother to SURPRISE me!
which i absolutely love. :)
my world would be a dull, boring, mandane life if not for all of the colourful people in it. :)

a song that has ministered to me for this season of my life,
by casting crowns, "in me":

the chorus goes...

When i'm weak, You make me strong
When i'm blind, You shine Your light on me
Cos i'll never get by, living on my own ability
How refreshing to know You don't need me
How amazing to find that You want me
So i'll stand on Your truth,
and i'll fight with Your strength,
til You bring the victory
by the power of Christ in me.



so often, so many things overwhelm me.
so often, my flaws stand screaming in my face.
so often, i feel like i'm swerving in and out.
so often, i just want to run and escape all.
and yet more often,
i hear You calling me and telling me that everything will be okay
because nothing goes by You, unnoticed
and though i drive this car of a life recklessly at a crazy speed,
You are still in control and want me to run only at Your pace.

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net



Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net



Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net



a desperate attempt to save myself.

i love amelia, ayeeba and shir alot.

my eyes sparkle at the thought of you. :)

can't wait for our poolside dinner, valentines!

i love my twin too. :)

thanks for watching 27 dresses me, dear! 

my heart is drenched in wine, but you'll be on my mind, forever.

only you can make me feel at a loss when i hear my favourite song.

almost got into 2 car accidents.

banged my dad's car's front bumper into a pillar.

other stuff happened that just adds on.

my heart has been in a mess today.

my nerves are frazzled.

its days like these that i just shouldnt have gotten out of bed.

its days like these that i just feel ugly and  of not much worth.

at least i had a good short crying session to get it all out of my system.

( and now i know that there must be some value to my life. cos YOU supernaturally protected me through every situation and preserved my life. )

thanks jie for the hug. i needed it.

thanks dee for the prayer. my heart needed it.

i'm so sorry about the car.

lesson learnt.