its time to dust off the dirt off the trophy.
wrap it up in newspaper.
and keep it in a box.
stowed away.
forever.
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
had a good day catching up with darling rach and jesse.
after school..
i went to meet charis' dg to loanshark..but i didnt catch any fish today.
den i went to meet ahgong.
had to labour for him first though..went to look the whole of the library for a seat for him..
but to no avail.
i still got scolded for not roaring at pple and chasing them away can.
rah.
all work and no pay.
but dont get me wrong.
he isnt a slave driver.he just bullies me nia.
hahahaha.
haha.
so i accompanied him for a while..before i left to westmall to get jesse's prezzie..
den went to ivin ivin's at bt timah to meet rach my green fairy and wifey for lunch.
yay.was so happy.
after two years..finally get to eat ivin's.
haha.
but their itek tim cannot compare to my mums man.haha.no fight.
after lunching..went to wifey's hse to play daidee..and talk talk..
was late in meeting jess and jean at guthrie.
oopz.
haha.ate venezia.-yum-
sat at a table next to a bunch of mg girls.
i miss the uniform!
and i was wondering if we ever spoke with an accent.
cos that bunch of girls were.
jean and i agreed..that now..after we're out of mg..our english has been mixed more with singlish..but when we're thrown to do a presentation..the proper-prounciation accent comes out.
haha.
after talk talking..we walked ard the cold storage.
thus the many pictures..hahaha..i was quite high..kept talking nonsense..haha..as usual.
and just had a fun time there la.
so many funny things were being said and thrown around.
cant remember all.
hahahha.
but..this cold storage ar..today..like..very messy.
there are empty boxes on the shelves..not stocked up.
very jialat.cldnt tahan.
owellz.
headed over back to wifey's and talk talked.
i had a good time today.
though for some reason..i feel very drained.
i love my girls alot.
haha.
oh.
and the wonder why i am surrounded by retarded pple has ceased.
haha.
it is because..i am retarded.
thats why..i attract the same type of pple.
hahaha.
owellz.
going through one of those periods in life that i start evaluating my life.
i seriously need a financial manager.
i cant control how i spend my money.
and it irritates and worries me.
alot.
i cant control my impulsivity.
haiz.
high above my circumstances, i will praise You, Lord.
=========construction area.===========
God at work.
after school..
i went to meet charis' dg to loanshark..but i didnt catch any fish today.
den i went to meet ahgong.
had to labour for him first though..went to look the whole of the library for a seat for him..
but to no avail.
i still got scolded for not roaring at pple and chasing them away can.
rah.
all work and no pay.
but dont get me wrong.
he isnt a slave driver.he just bullies me nia.
hahahaha.
haha.
so i accompanied him for a while..before i left to westmall to get jesse's prezzie..
den went to ivin ivin's at bt timah to meet rach my green fairy and wifey for lunch.
yay.was so happy.
after two years..finally get to eat ivin's.
haha.
but their itek tim cannot compare to my mums man.haha.no fight.
after lunching..went to wifey's hse to play daidee..and talk talk..
was late in meeting jess and jean at guthrie.
oopz.
haha.ate venezia.-yum-
sat at a table next to a bunch of mg girls.
i miss the uniform!
and i was wondering if we ever spoke with an accent.
cos that bunch of girls were.
jean and i agreed..that now..after we're out of mg..our english has been mixed more with singlish..but when we're thrown to do a presentation..the proper-prounciation accent comes out.
haha.
after talk talking..we walked ard the cold storage.
thus the many pictures..hahaha..i was quite high..kept talking nonsense..haha..as usual.
and just had a fun time there la.
so many funny things were being said and thrown around.
cant remember all.
hahahha.
but..this cold storage ar..today..like..very messy.
there are empty boxes on the shelves..not stocked up.
very jialat.cldnt tahan.
owellz.
headed over back to wifey's and talk talked.
i had a good time today.
though for some reason..i feel very drained.
i love my girls alot.
haha.
oh.
and the wonder why i am surrounded by retarded pple has ceased.
haha.
it is because..i am retarded.
thats why..i attract the same type of pple.
hahaha.
owellz.
going through one of those periods in life that i start evaluating my life.
i seriously need a financial manager.
i cant control how i spend my money.
and it irritates and worries me.
alot.
i cant control my impulsivity.
haiz.
high above my circumstances, i will praise You, Lord.
=========construction area.===========
God at work.
Monday, September 26, 2005
let me tell you a story.
this story is about a fish..
called psycho.
in class one day.
a girl introduced herself to psycho.
girl : hi. what's your name?
psycho : oh. bio sciences.
girl : my name is dimple.
psycho : huh? your name is bimbo?
me : -gasp- oh my goodness.why would her name be bimbo? who would call themselves a bimbo?
psycho : breaks out in asthematic laughter.
hahahahahaha..
i love you dory.
=)
the price of love = difflum.
this story is about a fish..
called psycho.
in class one day.
a girl introduced herself to psycho.
girl : hi. what's your name?
psycho : oh. bio sciences.
girl : my name is dimple.
psycho : huh? your name is bimbo?
me : -gasp- oh my goodness.why would her name be bimbo? who would call themselves a bimbo?
psycho : breaks out in asthematic laughter.
hahahahahaha..
i love you dory.
=)
the price of love = difflum.
at lee wee nam library now.
bored.
want to sleep.
but no table for me to plonk myself down.
so here i am.
at a computer.
listening to pple walk by and say "wah..fullhouse.again."
they seem like they have more important things to do.
more important compared to me.
i am just blog hopping.
ok.
have to go now.
lecture with the mad professor time.
sigh.
blog again some other time.
i wanna eat eat eat..apples and bananas.-barney.
bored.
want to sleep.
but no table for me to plonk myself down.
so here i am.
at a computer.
listening to pple walk by and say "wah..fullhouse.again."
they seem like they have more important things to do.
more important compared to me.
i am just blog hopping.
ok.
have to go now.
lecture with the mad professor time.
sigh.
blog again some other time.
i wanna eat eat eat..apples and bananas.-barney.
i will never hurt you.
though i can get acidic with my words.
i will never hurt you.
though the thought of breaking my driving license into two and throwing it at your feet was tempting.
but i will never hurt you.
there will always be friction.
but i will never cross the line.
i can never bring myself to break your heart.
i know it was for my own good.
and i know you are concerned.
and i will never hurt you.
ever.
no matter how much it hurts me.
though i can get acidic with my words.
i will never hurt you.
though the thought of breaking my driving license into two and throwing it at your feet was tempting.
but i will never hurt you.
there will always be friction.
but i will never cross the line.
i can never bring myself to break your heart.
i know it was for my own good.
and i know you are concerned.
and i will never hurt you.
ever.
no matter how much it hurts me.
Sunday, September 25, 2005
BIG - planet shakers
My God is big
So strong so mighty
My God's plan for me
Goes beyond my wildest dreams
My God is good
He's so good to me
My God is big
So strong so mighty
My God is good
He's so good to me
He's my God and
He is my refuge
He's the rock on which I stand
He's my fortress
God, He is my life
He holds the oceans in His hand
My God is Big
So Strong so mighty
My God is good
He's so good to me
There's nothing my God cannot do
i love this song.ask me to sing it for you if you wanna hear.
heh.
heh heh.
heh heh heh.
My God is big
So strong so mighty
My God's plan for me
Goes beyond my wildest dreams
My God is good
He's so good to me
My God is big
So strong so mighty
My God is good
He's so good to me
He's my God and
He is my refuge
He's the rock on which I stand
He's my fortress
God, He is my life
He holds the oceans in His hand
My God is Big
So Strong so mighty
My God is good
He's so good to me
There's nothing my God cannot do
i love this song.ask me to sing it for you if you wanna hear.
heh.
heh heh.
heh heh heh.
Saturday, September 24, 2005
dear jesse..i am sorry if i have broken your heart..cos i cant attend yr 19th birthday dinner.
i really wish i could be there.
i want to meet up with you soon.
cos you sound so hurt in yr blog.
wanna hug you.and make you feel better.
i miss you a lot.
know that eventhough we are very far away..
there is still a plot of land in our hearts that is marked "property of jessicalica".
i love you babe.
you're irreplaceable.
ive got a wedding dinner to attend tml night.
and i am still undecided of what to wear.
sigh.
i realised something..about myself.
i am always..only satisfied with being mediocre.
i never make a point to excel.
only in tap.
and i realised the root of this.."laziness".
it is because..i am scared of greater responsibilities..
if i should excel at smth..and be good at it..i will rise..right??
and with greater power..comes greater responsibilities.
and i always shy away from responsibilities.
it is becos i am scared that should i fail..i will bring everyone down..and disappoint everyone.
i have been scarred since primary 5 camp.
when i was the group leader of dan.
for the campfire..we were supposed to put up an item.
and i failed.
i have never gotten over it.
i failed.
we didnt plan out our skit of "a lion version of romeo and juliet".
my whole group just went around the fire singing "who is the king of the jungle?"
with actions and all.
it was so humiliating.
i have never gotten over it.
and i blame my not being able to be a prefect on that incident.
i have ALWAYS wanted to be a prefect.
but i never made it through.
we were chosen as leaders and assistant leaders during p5 camp cos we were seen as potential prefects.
but i failed.
my assistant leader, brenda, was made prefect.
but..andrea didnt.
andrea failed.
sigh.
but yes.
this is where revelation comes in..
i realised that i shouldnt be afraid..
should i be given more responsibilities..i should just lean on to God..for strength.
promotion comes from God.
and when He brings you to it..He will bring you through it.
so yes.
i should start doing all things that my hands touch..with all my might and strength.
i will..fear not!
so yes.
i must try.
i really must.
pursue after perfection.
i really wish i could be there.
i want to meet up with you soon.
cos you sound so hurt in yr blog.
wanna hug you.and make you feel better.
i miss you a lot.
know that eventhough we are very far away..
there is still a plot of land in our hearts that is marked "property of jessicalica".
i love you babe.
you're irreplaceable.
ive got a wedding dinner to attend tml night.
and i am still undecided of what to wear.
sigh.
i realised something..about myself.
i am always..only satisfied with being mediocre.
i never make a point to excel.
only in tap.
and i realised the root of this.."laziness".
it is because..i am scared of greater responsibilities..
if i should excel at smth..and be good at it..i will rise..right??
and with greater power..comes greater responsibilities.
and i always shy away from responsibilities.
it is becos i am scared that should i fail..i will bring everyone down..and disappoint everyone.
i have been scarred since primary 5 camp.
when i was the group leader of dan.
for the campfire..we were supposed to put up an item.
and i failed.
i have never gotten over it.
i failed.
we didnt plan out our skit of "a lion version of romeo and juliet".
my whole group just went around the fire singing "who is the king of the jungle?"
with actions and all.
it was so humiliating.
i have never gotten over it.
and i blame my not being able to be a prefect on that incident.
i have ALWAYS wanted to be a prefect.
but i never made it through.
we were chosen as leaders and assistant leaders during p5 camp cos we were seen as potential prefects.
but i failed.
my assistant leader, brenda, was made prefect.
but..andrea didnt.
andrea failed.
sigh.
but yes.
this is where revelation comes in..
i realised that i shouldnt be afraid..
should i be given more responsibilities..i should just lean on to God..for strength.
promotion comes from God.
and when He brings you to it..He will bring you through it.
so yes.
i should start doing all things that my hands touch..with all my might and strength.
i will..fear not!
so yes.
i must try.
i really must.
pursue after perfection.
Thursday, September 22, 2005
today is finally over..
my worries ended as the sun set.
yay.
had two tests today..both of which..i only browsed through..haha..
and yes..i think my physics went quite well..almost if not full marks i think.
my methods were right.
yay.
and my mat sci test..was ok la..haha..
and the singing item went really well.
thank you babes for singing with me.
for putting in so much effort.
i am very happy that God has blessed us so much in so many ways and that we could reach out to others and touch His heart through our gift of song.
i am sure daddy God is very pleased with us.
love you all very much.
i am so blessed to have you four in my life..and that we can click and bond so well.
-big hug-
yes..
so today..is really..a testimony of His love, grace and faithfulness in my life.
i am really blessed.
thank you precious Jesus, for everything.
and yes..today..after school..i was bouncing off the ceiling man...was so super high that school was over..and my worries were over..
hahaha..
and i really went "raisins".
talked a lot of nonsense..
came up with a new cheer for my disciple group leader..haha.
her name is eliza yeh..
so i went "eliza, yeah! eliza, yeah!"
haha..please imagine my retarded face as you are reading this.
hahahahha..
i need a reservation at the IMH.
hahahha..
i enjoyed today.
so dramatic.
and so fulfilling.
this is what i live for.
to see Him move in my life.
blessed assurance. Jesus is mine.
my worries ended as the sun set.
yay.
had two tests today..both of which..i only browsed through..haha..
and yes..i think my physics went quite well..almost if not full marks i think.
my methods were right.
yay.
and my mat sci test..was ok la..haha..
and the singing item went really well.
thank you babes for singing with me.
for putting in so much effort.
i am very happy that God has blessed us so much in so many ways and that we could reach out to others and touch His heart through our gift of song.
i am sure daddy God is very pleased with us.
love you all very much.
i am so blessed to have you four in my life..and that we can click and bond so well.
-big hug-
yes..
so today..is really..a testimony of His love, grace and faithfulness in my life.
i am really blessed.
thank you precious Jesus, for everything.
and yes..today..after school..i was bouncing off the ceiling man...was so super high that school was over..and my worries were over..
hahaha..
and i really went "raisins".
talked a lot of nonsense..
came up with a new cheer for my disciple group leader..haha.
her name is eliza yeh..
so i went "eliza, yeah! eliza, yeah!"
haha..please imagine my retarded face as you are reading this.
hahahahha..
i need a reservation at the IMH.
hahahha..
i enjoyed today.
so dramatic.
and so fulfilling.
this is what i live for.
to see Him move in my life.
blessed assurance. Jesus is mine.
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
i am truly blessed.
=)
today's practice was fantastic!though we've shifted the key up..we sound real nice together..im so happy.
so you would come.
yupp..and dor and i waited for a cab just now at school..for like..20plus mins??
and you know..me being me..i started singing..
please send a cab..by 530..
please send a cab..by 530..
eventhough its one dollar more..
eventhough its one dollar more..
please send a cab..by530..
my head is tired..
doreen's bag is heavy..
please send a cab..by 530.
yupp.
i have the makings of a songwriter.
i can feel it!
heh heh.
i seriously need to start mugging.
my exams are less than 2 mths away.
and im still slacking la!
rah.
He fills me up with living water and i will thirst no more.
=)
today's practice was fantastic!though we've shifted the key up..we sound real nice together..im so happy.
so you would come.
yupp..and dor and i waited for a cab just now at school..for like..20plus mins??
and you know..me being me..i started singing..
please send a cab..by 530..
please send a cab..by 530..
eventhough its one dollar more..
eventhough its one dollar more..
please send a cab..by530..
my head is tired..
doreen's bag is heavy..
please send a cab..by 530.
yupp.
i have the makings of a songwriter.
i can feel it!
heh heh.
i seriously need to start mugging.
my exams are less than 2 mths away.
and im still slacking la!
rah.
He fills me up with living water and i will thirst no more.
Monday, September 19, 2005
Saturday, September 17, 2005
it is so noisy i cant hear myself think.
huh??what??
I SAID..IT IS SO NOISY I CANT HEAR MYSELF THINK!!
I STILL CANT HEAR YOU!!
oh bugger off andrea.
i wish the common pavillion wasnt just next to my block.
such peace i would have.
they are holding those par sa malam auction things now.
and this is the most enthu deejay i have ever heard.
he gets the people to shout back stuff.
and they ACTUALLY shout.
oh joy.
such a nice peaceful neighbourhood i stay in.
-cries-
i have not been very productive today.
but its an improvement.
will go attempt to read more chapters of physics later.
i realised that i am not motivated enough to finish my report today.
i shall accumulate the anxiety until tomorrow.
and then i shall RUSH my report to completion.
brilliant idea, no??
i realise that i have taken our freedom to worship for granted.
watched a show abt persecuted chrisitians today.
we are really..very very fortunate.
but i am afraid of the day..should it come..whereby i am persecuted for my faith.
i pray i will stand strong.
i can never know how strong my will is.
of cos i will declare now..proud and bold..of cos i will never renounce Christ.
but when it comes to the crunch..i am afraid..really afraid.
i need to build up my faith.
need so much more of Him.
this is my desire to honour You.
Lord with all my heart i worship You.
all i have within me, i give You praise.
all that i adore, is in You.
Lord i give You my heart
i give You my soul.
i live for You alone.
every breathe that i take
every moment i'm awake
Lord, have Your way in me.
i am very blessed.
so many things to be thankful for.
my family..friends..country..opportunities..so many things.
thank You, Lord.
huh??what??
I SAID..IT IS SO NOISY I CANT HEAR MYSELF THINK!!
I STILL CANT HEAR YOU!!
oh bugger off andrea.
i wish the common pavillion wasnt just next to my block.
such peace i would have.
they are holding those par sa malam auction things now.
and this is the most enthu deejay i have ever heard.
he gets the people to shout back stuff.
and they ACTUALLY shout.
oh joy.
such a nice peaceful neighbourhood i stay in.
-cries-
i have not been very productive today.
but its an improvement.
will go attempt to read more chapters of physics later.
i realised that i am not motivated enough to finish my report today.
i shall accumulate the anxiety until tomorrow.
and then i shall RUSH my report to completion.
brilliant idea, no??
i realise that i have taken our freedom to worship for granted.
watched a show abt persecuted chrisitians today.
we are really..very very fortunate.
but i am afraid of the day..should it come..whereby i am persecuted for my faith.
i pray i will stand strong.
i can never know how strong my will is.
of cos i will declare now..proud and bold..of cos i will never renounce Christ.
but when it comes to the crunch..i am afraid..really afraid.
i need to build up my faith.
need so much more of Him.
this is my desire to honour You.
Lord with all my heart i worship You.
all i have within me, i give You praise.
all that i adore, is in You.
Lord i give You my heart
i give You my soul.
i live for You alone.
every breathe that i take
every moment i'm awake
Lord, have Your way in me.
i am very blessed.
so many things to be thankful for.
my family..friends..country..opportunities..so many things.
thank You, Lord.
WWOOOWWWEEEE!!
what a fantastic day yesterday was.
met amelia on the bus on our way down to laopo's yesterday.
when we were walking up the over head bridge..
me: so shld i buy wax or clay?
ame: oh ya! forgot to bring yr wax!
me: my vcds?
ame: oh yar!that too..and feng's slippers!
me: so how? go back ar?
ame: yar.see!i told you i cant pack fast.i must sit and think of what i need to bring.
so..we both headed back..went to cold storage for me to buy my lunch.
which was so friggin ex.
i must NEVER do that again.
i bought a caesar salad..a chicken steak..and two pork ribs.
sob..9 bucks plus.
never!!
after that..we went to ame's..slack a while..cos we were going to board ayeeba's and shir's bus..they were coming down from SIM.
so ame and i went down..saw a bike no. plate on the road at the busstop..
ame: eh! lets buy toto!
both : 4...2...erm..
ame: aiyah..0 0..so 4200..
but the funny thing is that ame and i were both standing like two kukus at the front of the busstop staring at the no. plate..both at the edge of the curb.
haha.
den we walked nearer the bus sign board..ame went behind the advertisement board..and when i reached..she went "boo!" i just gave some retarded shocked face.
haha.
crazy.
then..we waited..and waited..and waited..for ayeeba and shir..
dunnoe why..they didnt take 74s or 151s..so ame and i were just looking at the direction by which the bus comes..
ame with her mouth ajar..me..looking at her..
den she would walk out onto the road..just to see if the bus is coming..hahaha..madness.
we were seriously bored waiting.
finally..it came..
so we went to shir's.
shir was like..showing me how to catwalk like an old ah pek on the overhead bridge..so kuku la.
me:i feel like an orangina
shir:how do you feel like an orangina?
me : -bends knees..puts hands like a cap over my head-
shir : -laugh laugh-
den ayeeba said :looks like the axe brand bottle.but..isnt the axe bottle like this? - bends knees and puts hands up in a sq way-
hahahahahaha...we were making a fool of ourselves on the overhead bridge..haha..i like.
when we got to shir's..we watched tv with aunt jesslyn..some canto show "the prince's shadow"
was really good..haha..and finally we got ourselves down to go swimming..
swam abt 30 laps..breadth..thanks to ame..which is a good thing..didnt feel like 30 laps..cos we swam 10..8..6.4..2..yar.
learnt how to push off from the wall when you wanna change direction.
still not very good though.my breathing and turning arent in sync.
rah.
after swimming..and much talking and laughing..eg.questions like " so are you all called SIMmers?"
haha.
we went up..bathed..and went to alameen for dinner.
called kenneth and gordon..and they were thankfully nearby..so they walked over and we talked for only a while..
den..after a nice dinner..and finally realising that no nearby cinema showed "be with me"..we walked towards ame's hse..waited for ayeeba's bus..den shir and i alighted at shir's..
cos i was waiting for my parents
shir's dad: how long will your parents take?i cant send you home.
me: in your new lexus??
shir's dad : yar.but on one condition..you help me wash.
me :er..no thanks..takes an hour!
anyhoo..i got home..didnt do work..chatted to pple until like..1 plus..and finally slept at 2..
didnt go running today..-makes face-
was too lazy to get up and run.
so i just did..errrr..10 crunches?
hhahaha..
dumdidum..i will be more productive today..already half way thru my lab report!woo!!
innocently intoxicated into your wonderland.
what a fantastic day yesterday was.
met amelia on the bus on our way down to laopo's yesterday.
when we were walking up the over head bridge..
me: so shld i buy wax or clay?
ame: oh ya! forgot to bring yr wax!
me: my vcds?
ame: oh yar!that too..and feng's slippers!
me: so how? go back ar?
ame: yar.see!i told you i cant pack fast.i must sit and think of what i need to bring.
so..we both headed back..went to cold storage for me to buy my lunch.
which was so friggin ex.
i must NEVER do that again.
i bought a caesar salad..a chicken steak..and two pork ribs.
sob..9 bucks plus.
never!!
after that..we went to ame's..slack a while..cos we were going to board ayeeba's and shir's bus..they were coming down from SIM.
so ame and i went down..saw a bike no. plate on the road at the busstop..
ame: eh! lets buy toto!
both : 4...2...erm..
ame: aiyah..0 0..so 4200..
but the funny thing is that ame and i were both standing like two kukus at the front of the busstop staring at the no. plate..both at the edge of the curb.
haha.
den we walked nearer the bus sign board..ame went behind the advertisement board..and when i reached..she went "boo!" i just gave some retarded shocked face.
haha.
crazy.
then..we waited..and waited..and waited..for ayeeba and shir..
dunnoe why..they didnt take 74s or 151s..so ame and i were just looking at the direction by which the bus comes..
ame with her mouth ajar..me..looking at her..
den she would walk out onto the road..just to see if the bus is coming..hahaha..madness.
we were seriously bored waiting.
finally..it came..
so we went to shir's.
shir was like..showing me how to catwalk like an old ah pek on the overhead bridge..so kuku la.
me:i feel like an orangina
shir:how do you feel like an orangina?
me : -bends knees..puts hands like a cap over my head-
shir : -laugh laugh-
den ayeeba said :looks like the axe brand bottle.but..isnt the axe bottle like this? - bends knees and puts hands up in a sq way-
hahahahahaha...we were making a fool of ourselves on the overhead bridge..haha..i like.
when we got to shir's..we watched tv with aunt jesslyn..some canto show "the prince's shadow"
was really good..haha..and finally we got ourselves down to go swimming..
swam abt 30 laps..breadth..thanks to ame..which is a good thing..didnt feel like 30 laps..cos we swam 10..8..6.4..2..yar.
learnt how to push off from the wall when you wanna change direction.
still not very good though.my breathing and turning arent in sync.
rah.
after swimming..and much talking and laughing..eg.questions like " so are you all called SIMmers?"
haha.
we went up..bathed..and went to alameen for dinner.
called kenneth and gordon..and they were thankfully nearby..so they walked over and we talked for only a while..
den..after a nice dinner..and finally realising that no nearby cinema showed "be with me"..we walked towards ame's hse..waited for ayeeba's bus..den shir and i alighted at shir's..
cos i was waiting for my parents
shir's dad: how long will your parents take?i cant send you home.
me: in your new lexus??
shir's dad : yar.but on one condition..you help me wash.
me :er..no thanks..takes an hour!
anyhoo..i got home..didnt do work..chatted to pple until like..1 plus..and finally slept at 2..
didnt go running today..-makes face-
was too lazy to get up and run.
so i just did..errrr..10 crunches?
hhahaha..
dumdidum..i will be more productive today..already half way thru my lab report!woo!!
innocently intoxicated into your wonderland.
Friday, September 16, 2005
i feel so much better.
i went for a run/walk this morning with my mum and aunt.
it felt so good.
all it takes is a good run to clear one's head.
thought through many things..talked to God about so many things..
feel so much better.really.
i love sprinting.
the adrenaline pumping through your body..the world spinning pass you along the sides..all you hear is your feet hitting the ground..and you breathing..
makes you feel so free..as if..if you run fast enough..you can fly.
the only limitation is that...your legs can only carry you so far.
i realised..that..i have been spending my emotions on things that has not much value..driving my own self nuts thinking about smth so redundant..
so yes.
resolved to stop thinking horrid thoughts and just be myself..happy..and hopefully..more motivated to get things going..yeap.
yay.
today is a good day, no?
going to get out of my hse soon..just waiting for the dang-blasted laundry to be done washing..and i would have to get myself to hang them out..which..by the way..i really dont like..yes..and finally i'll be free to get myself down to darling ame's hse..and spend a whole afternoon frolicking in the water with shir ayeeba and ame.
wooo..
i cant wait.
tally-ho!
i went for a run/walk this morning with my mum and aunt.
it felt so good.
all it takes is a good run to clear one's head.
thought through many things..talked to God about so many things..
feel so much better.really.
i love sprinting.
the adrenaline pumping through your body..the world spinning pass you along the sides..all you hear is your feet hitting the ground..and you breathing..
makes you feel so free..as if..if you run fast enough..you can fly.
the only limitation is that...your legs can only carry you so far.
i realised..that..i have been spending my emotions on things that has not much value..driving my own self nuts thinking about smth so redundant..
so yes.
resolved to stop thinking horrid thoughts and just be myself..happy..and hopefully..more motivated to get things going..yeap.
yay.
today is a good day, no?
going to get out of my hse soon..just waiting for the dang-blasted laundry to be done washing..and i would have to get myself to hang them out..which..by the way..i really dont like..yes..and finally i'll be free to get myself down to darling ame's hse..and spend a whole afternoon frolicking in the water with shir ayeeba and ame.
wooo..
i cant wait.
tally-ho!
Thursday, September 15, 2005
you gave your hand to me..and then you said hello..and i could hardly speak..my heart was beating so..and everyone could tell..you think you know me well..but you dont.
i have changed.
dang blast it.
i think i have changed.
is it for the better?
i am not too sure.
things that have changed(good and bad) :
1. i am more vocal now.not to be pushed over that easily.
but in that sense..i start cold wars more frequently.
2. i am not as motivated anymore.
my work is lagging so much.and the anxiety hasnt hit me!
3. i am not as much a romantic any longer.
then again..maybe i am just not really ready.
4. i run around seeking entertainment and to entertain.
it worries me that im stuck in a neverland and will never grow up.
5. i think too much that i think i might just burst from all this nonsense.
6. i am becoming more apathetic.
7. i dull myself.
8. ok.i think this just sounds too depressing.argh.
9.i think i think too much it drives me crazy.
10. am i sinking into semi-depression again? help.
ok.
i think this is all academic-stress related.
and that isnt good.
cos its just stress im getting.
my week's holiday seems to have gone past so fast.
its friday tml!
and i have accomplished nothing!
nothing!
dang blast me.
i really need to sit down and study.
cold turkey msn.
i really need to.
i get too distracted.
no motivation to study.
Lord..help..i need to study.
today's evangelistic xroads practice was quite good..dor and i were a bit low..but im sure izzy enting and edlyn will harmonise us out perfect. =)
clara and jiajun are really good..esp jiajun..dor and i were just melting in our seats when she sang..
its so surreal when she sings..cos her mouth hardly moves..but the sound coming out of her is fantastic! really loud..and whole..and just..mesmerizing!
dinner was good too..dor is so nonsense..i spent the whole day just laughing my head off with her..haha..eejun is quite nonsense also.
yay.i like nonsense pple.
haha.
kk..i think i will go sleep now..
will rest..go running tml..study..and spend my afternoon with my darlings..and bask in the fantastic relationship that we have..and how much i love them..haha..
cant wait.
each time i think im almost out of the hole..i start sliding back in..
i have changed.
dang blast it.
i think i have changed.
is it for the better?
i am not too sure.
things that have changed(good and bad) :
1. i am more vocal now.not to be pushed over that easily.
but in that sense..i start cold wars more frequently.
2. i am not as motivated anymore.
my work is lagging so much.and the anxiety hasnt hit me!
3. i am not as much a romantic any longer.
then again..maybe i am just not really ready.
4. i run around seeking entertainment and to entertain.
it worries me that im stuck in a neverland and will never grow up.
5. i think too much that i think i might just burst from all this nonsense.
6. i am becoming more apathetic.
7. i dull myself.
8. ok.i think this just sounds too depressing.argh.
9.i think i think too much it drives me crazy.
10. am i sinking into semi-depression again? help.
ok.
i think this is all academic-stress related.
and that isnt good.
cos its just stress im getting.
my week's holiday seems to have gone past so fast.
its friday tml!
and i have accomplished nothing!
nothing!
dang blast me.
i really need to sit down and study.
cold turkey msn.
i really need to.
i get too distracted.
no motivation to study.
Lord..help..i need to study.
today's evangelistic xroads practice was quite good..dor and i were a bit low..but im sure izzy enting and edlyn will harmonise us out perfect. =)
clara and jiajun are really good..esp jiajun..dor and i were just melting in our seats when she sang..
its so surreal when she sings..cos her mouth hardly moves..but the sound coming out of her is fantastic! really loud..and whole..and just..mesmerizing!
dinner was good too..dor is so nonsense..i spent the whole day just laughing my head off with her..haha..eejun is quite nonsense also.
yay.i like nonsense pple.
haha.
kk..i think i will go sleep now..
will rest..go running tml..study..and spend my afternoon with my darlings..and bask in the fantastic relationship that we have..and how much i love them..haha..
cant wait.
each time i think im almost out of the hole..i start sliding back in..
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
argh!my internet is screwed!!
i was almost done blogging just now when out of the blue..the whole window closed!
rah!!
ok..re-type.....
met darkwinged duck yesterday at bishan for brkfast.
its good seeing him after so so long..
and on the way down..i had a romantic time with an old lady on the train..
she kept dozing off and guess whose shoulder she wld lean on??
mine! hahaha..she wld touch a bit..wake up..and doze off again..she slept on my shoulder for a good one min plus for a period of time..haha..
old ladies are so cute.
met leow zixiang too..the nehneh metal mouth..bit the meat at my right elbow joint ok!!
it still hurts today..rah!!
the small girl next to me was so shocked when she saw him bite me..i was screaming like mad..
rah!!silly twin!!!
lzx..still the same..is that a good thing?? hahahahahahaha...
oh yar..and on monday..we had crusade family day..it wasnt as bad as i thought it wld be..i was a bit moody at first cos none of my pretties were going..but i had twin(samuel) and steward to keep me company and i made a few new frens.
it was fun.
steam boat too..though i didnt really eat much..
almost got burnt..hahhaa..sort of..cos yongzhi was getting some of the soup things out..and he spilled a bit of water on the hotplate..and it burst into flames..my face was a bit near..thank goodness nth happened..but it was funny.
hmmz..
im camping at home today..to be a good mariam..and study!
study!gross..i think im allergic.
rah.
been super uber not productive nowadays.
so much to catch up..lab report to do..
sob.
i wanna quit school.
sob.
kk..i better go..i cant wait for friday!!
hmmz..my toilets are calling...bye!!
im finally succeeding..but why isnt this victory tasting sweet?
i was almost done blogging just now when out of the blue..the whole window closed!
rah!!
ok..re-type.....
met darkwinged duck yesterday at bishan for brkfast.
its good seeing him after so so long..
and on the way down..i had a romantic time with an old lady on the train..
she kept dozing off and guess whose shoulder she wld lean on??
mine! hahaha..she wld touch a bit..wake up..and doze off again..she slept on my shoulder for a good one min plus for a period of time..haha..
old ladies are so cute.
met leow zixiang too..the nehneh metal mouth..bit the meat at my right elbow joint ok!!
it still hurts today..rah!!
the small girl next to me was so shocked when she saw him bite me..i was screaming like mad..
rah!!silly twin!!!
lzx..still the same..is that a good thing?? hahahahahahaha...
oh yar..and on monday..we had crusade family day..it wasnt as bad as i thought it wld be..i was a bit moody at first cos none of my pretties were going..but i had twin(samuel) and steward to keep me company and i made a few new frens.
it was fun.
steam boat too..though i didnt really eat much..
almost got burnt..hahhaa..sort of..cos yongzhi was getting some of the soup things out..and he spilled a bit of water on the hotplate..and it burst into flames..my face was a bit near..thank goodness nth happened..but it was funny.
hmmz..
im camping at home today..to be a good mariam..and study!
study!gross..i think im allergic.
rah.
been super uber not productive nowadays.
so much to catch up..lab report to do..
sob.
i wanna quit school.
sob.
kk..i better go..i cant wait for friday!!
hmmz..my toilets are calling...bye!!
im finally succeeding..but why isnt this victory tasting sweet?
Sunday, September 11, 2005
i dont want to fall to pieces.i just want to sit and stare at you.
i am feeling very lost now.
i feel as if im wasting my time.becos i have no feeling to want to do anything in particular.
strange feeling.
i doubt im going into depression.
but it sure does feel as if i am.
one of my random mood swings.
i wld be lying if i said that i wasnt upset that dor isnt going for family day tml.
cos when you wait for a day to come..you anticipate the dynamics for that day too.
im not angry or anything.really.i totally understand why she isnt going and i respect it.
just feeling a bit lost.
maybe its due to my lack of sleep.
i only slept at 430 this morning.
and woke at 730.
i am too addicted to msn.
im very touched.
this whole week..i could sense the distance between my classmates and i.
probably bec i know im of different frequency from them.
it isnt always good to be so english-influenced.
elaine called and asked me if i wanted to go steamboat with them tml..
but i already am going with my crusaders.
so maybe i wld meet them there.
and she said that the other night at supper they expressed their concern that they found that i was becoming quieter and a bit depressed.
how am i supposed to tell them that i just dont feel that much at home with them.
i am too clinque-ish and stereotyped for my own good.
my face is super burnt.
it hurts.
i have to touch it now and den to cool it down and ease the pain.
im like a tomato.
ok.i need to sleep.and someone is too busy to talk.so i shld go.
tv shows are getting boring.
what if one day i told you i love you, would you believe?
what if one day i told you i miss you so bad,
would you trust?
what if one day i told you i never want you to let go,
would you fulfill?
there's a void in me..that is caused by you.
you bring me to completion. - feb/march 2004
i am feeling very lost now.
i feel as if im wasting my time.becos i have no feeling to want to do anything in particular.
strange feeling.
i doubt im going into depression.
but it sure does feel as if i am.
one of my random mood swings.
i wld be lying if i said that i wasnt upset that dor isnt going for family day tml.
cos when you wait for a day to come..you anticipate the dynamics for that day too.
im not angry or anything.really.i totally understand why she isnt going and i respect it.
just feeling a bit lost.
maybe its due to my lack of sleep.
i only slept at 430 this morning.
and woke at 730.
i am too addicted to msn.
im very touched.
this whole week..i could sense the distance between my classmates and i.
probably bec i know im of different frequency from them.
it isnt always good to be so english-influenced.
elaine called and asked me if i wanted to go steamboat with them tml..
but i already am going with my crusaders.
so maybe i wld meet them there.
and she said that the other night at supper they expressed their concern that they found that i was becoming quieter and a bit depressed.
how am i supposed to tell them that i just dont feel that much at home with them.
i am too clinque-ish and stereotyped for my own good.
my face is super burnt.
it hurts.
i have to touch it now and den to cool it down and ease the pain.
im like a tomato.
ok.i need to sleep.and someone is too busy to talk.so i shld go.
tv shows are getting boring.
what if one day i told you i love you, would you believe?
what if one day i told you i miss you so bad,
would you trust?
what if one day i told you i never want you to let go,
would you fulfill?
there's a void in me..that is caused by you.
you bring me to completion. - feb/march 2004
oh yes..yesterday (10/9) was my handsome's birthday!
he has grown so much over the past 11 years..from a cute small puppy..to an old doggy..whose black fur is starting to bleach white..haha..
i love my doggie much.
he's been there when i cry..and when i just feel like playing..and sharing food with..haha..
and yes..i got a new baby!!woohooz!
my dad bought a slim sleek dvd player for my room..cos he went to the philips warehse sale i think..and i told him i wanted one that cld play dvd..cos in my hse..can only watch dvds outside..and i wanna watch in my room..and my hi-fi cannot play vcds and wad not..
so yes..i know..im super spoilt..
but im really happy..
my new baby!!
-adds to my list of babies-
yiippppeee.
im a happy girl today.
for more reasons than one.
he has grown so much over the past 11 years..from a cute small puppy..to an old doggy..whose black fur is starting to bleach white..haha..
i love my doggie much.
he's been there when i cry..and when i just feel like playing..and sharing food with..haha..
and yes..i got a new baby!!woohooz!
my dad bought a slim sleek dvd player for my room..cos he went to the philips warehse sale i think..and i told him i wanted one that cld play dvd..cos in my hse..can only watch dvds outside..and i wanna watch in my room..and my hi-fi cannot play vcds and wad not..
so yes..i know..im super spoilt..
but im really happy..
my new baby!!
-adds to my list of babies-
yiippppeee.
im a happy girl today.
for more reasons than one.
i havent been blogging.
could anyone tell??
heh..
good week i had!!
monday : erm.dun remember much.had a life sci CA.first to walk out of the comp lab.got 70%.but everyone else had higher.wahaha.
tuesday: nothing much happened.
wednesday : went sch..played pool with my class pple at the nanyang hse..played murderer..with elaine and jiayi..jiayi and i were trying to kill each other..so when it was elaine's turn we wld try to psycho her to kill the other one..haha..madness..
and tap was fantastic as usual!! -beams-
my wife is so crazy!
we were doing turns across the room..my right side is better than my left..i dunnoe why..cant spot so well when i turn left..hahaha..and wifey sabo-ed me..
when we were going to start turning..she ran from before me to the back of the queue ok!!
so susan went "ok..andrea you start first..since your wife helped." or smth like that la.
shirlene yeong ah-man!!too much!!rah!!
hahaha..but in a way..she sabo-ed herself too..cos every second person..has to end with a lanch..which is just to steady yrself in a position..but by the time she turns so many times..when she lanches...she wobbles!!hahahahahahah..so cute.
and when she turns left..she gets a bit unstable..and she will stop..shake her head a bit and continue..wahaha..
but yes..i made quite a few mistakes during the dance..keep forgetting some steps..sob..
saw jonathan(hiphop) at the 7-eleven near cine..he asks me to teach him some basic tap..cos he might wanna learn..haha..i'll try my best.-grin-
thursday : had sch..and dg! dg was hilarious..we were talking abt how christians can be discriminating against non-christians..and the point of being very preachy..and like..first day of school start witnessing to pple..and like..some car decals are cool..like "if you think spore is hot..think abt hell." smth like that..and to having yr bag filled with badges abt christianity..and den i said wear the big cross..the bling bling sort..sort of carrying yr cross..den they talked abt really carrying this huge wooden cross to class..like on the first day...start walking into class dragging a cross and telling the calvary message..hahahha..it was super funny cos of the dramatics..hahhaha..
my dg mates are crazy man.hahaha.i like.hahahha.
after that we had xroads..prayer and praise..after a solid worship..we had a prayer walk ard campus..it was good..prayer for salvation and strongholds..and we had a mini excursion.
mr bean brought us(yiyi..sam..kimbo..waiyin and i) to this secret conference room at lt19a.. and when we walked ard the lt..near this open landing....the choir was practicing..so we walked thru the lt..and there were more choir pple..in their sections practicing..and we were the 6 kukus who was wondering thru the front of the lt..i felt so paiseh la!!hahaha.
supper was good too..willy is so irritating..makes me so violent..provoke me lor..rah..but its fun la..hahaha..and thankfully i didnt hafta pay for ahgong's taxi fare home eventhough i didnt keep to our compromise of leaving by 1015..=) sorry.
friday : maths CA was funny.the second qn was so easy that we started thinking that there was a catch to it..and so..most of us went one big round to ans the qn.haha.
waited for ahgong and eejun for four hours..went to the lib to study with sam..from 430-645.
645 we got so bored..we went wondering ard north spine..haha..took photos of the sunset..and sat down and talked abt the diff dances we choreographed and danced before..haha.
went to fetch dor from the busstop..and continued wondering till it was 830..
went to jp for dinner..with them and albert!!haha..
it was fun.i really enjoyed myself at dinner.
today : went to sentosa with my jc frens!
i woke up at 705!!!!
the first thought that came to my head was "cindy is crazy!meet at 9am!!man!"
yes.
hahaha.
but it was fun!we took cable car to sentosa..benji was so funny..cos he's afraid of heights..hahaha..
den when we go there..they had a new addition!!chairlift!
its like the snowlifts at skiing mountains..
it brings you straight down to soliso/tanjong beach there..that means..near sunset bay.
woohooz.
it was so fun..
it goes up and down..benji was so scared again..it was hilarious.
and gavin kicked weiquan's slipper off!hahaha..so he bought weiquan a new pair.
so silly lor.
haha.
it was really fun hanging with them today..beach vball (thought i siamed more than i hit the ball..only did serving) haha...frisbee in water..kayaking..suntanning..a*hole daidee..
woo..
but one thing is..MY FACE HURTS NOW!!!
im red la!!
hahahaha..it doesnt hurt hurt..its the burnt hurt..haha..but tolerable pain la.
i cant wait for monday!can play and have some stuff to do!
and oh..next week is hols..hafta study hard..and..going swimming with my darlings on friday!!
im ecstatic!!i cant wait..
babes..im really missing you all much..you all are my home when i am away from home..each with a special place in my heart..i really dunnoe how i would survive if i didnt have you all..you all are really my angels..love you all much! -hugs-
i wanna maintain sanity.if it happens it does.i wldnt and i mustnt think abt it more than i should.i dont wanna get hurt again.i really dont.
could anyone tell??
heh..
good week i had!!
monday : erm.dun remember much.had a life sci CA.first to walk out of the comp lab.got 70%.but everyone else had higher.wahaha.
tuesday: nothing much happened.
wednesday : went sch..played pool with my class pple at the nanyang hse..played murderer..with elaine and jiayi..jiayi and i were trying to kill each other..so when it was elaine's turn we wld try to psycho her to kill the other one..haha..madness..
and tap was fantastic as usual!! -beams-
my wife is so crazy!
we were doing turns across the room..my right side is better than my left..i dunnoe why..cant spot so well when i turn left..hahaha..and wifey sabo-ed me..
when we were going to start turning..she ran from before me to the back of the queue ok!!
so susan went "ok..andrea you start first..since your wife helped." or smth like that la.
shirlene yeong ah-man!!too much!!rah!!
hahaha..but in a way..she sabo-ed herself too..cos every second person..has to end with a lanch..which is just to steady yrself in a position..but by the time she turns so many times..when she lanches...she wobbles!!hahahahahahah..so cute.
and when she turns left..she gets a bit unstable..and she will stop..shake her head a bit and continue..wahaha..
but yes..i made quite a few mistakes during the dance..keep forgetting some steps..sob..
saw jonathan(hiphop) at the 7-eleven near cine..he asks me to teach him some basic tap..cos he might wanna learn..haha..i'll try my best.-grin-
thursday : had sch..and dg! dg was hilarious..we were talking abt how christians can be discriminating against non-christians..and the point of being very preachy..and like..first day of school start witnessing to pple..and like..some car decals are cool..like "if you think spore is hot..think abt hell." smth like that..and to having yr bag filled with badges abt christianity..and den i said wear the big cross..the bling bling sort..sort of carrying yr cross..den they talked abt really carrying this huge wooden cross to class..like on the first day...start walking into class dragging a cross and telling the calvary message..hahahha..it was super funny cos of the dramatics..hahhaha..
my dg mates are crazy man.hahaha.i like.hahahha.
after that we had xroads..prayer and praise..after a solid worship..we had a prayer walk ard campus..it was good..prayer for salvation and strongholds..and we had a mini excursion.
mr bean brought us(yiyi..sam..kimbo..waiyin and i) to this secret conference room at lt19a.. and when we walked ard the lt..near this open landing....the choir was practicing..so we walked thru the lt..and there were more choir pple..in their sections practicing..and we were the 6 kukus who was wondering thru the front of the lt..i felt so paiseh la!!hahaha.
supper was good too..willy is so irritating..makes me so violent..provoke me lor..rah..but its fun la..hahaha..and thankfully i didnt hafta pay for ahgong's taxi fare home eventhough i didnt keep to our compromise of leaving by 1015..=) sorry.
friday : maths CA was funny.the second qn was so easy that we started thinking that there was a catch to it..and so..most of us went one big round to ans the qn.haha.
waited for ahgong and eejun for four hours..went to the lib to study with sam..from 430-645.
645 we got so bored..we went wondering ard north spine..haha..took photos of the sunset..and sat down and talked abt the diff dances we choreographed and danced before..haha.
went to fetch dor from the busstop..and continued wondering till it was 830..
went to jp for dinner..with them and albert!!haha..
it was fun.i really enjoyed myself at dinner.
today : went to sentosa with my jc frens!
i woke up at 705!!!!
the first thought that came to my head was "cindy is crazy!meet at 9am!!man!"
yes.
hahaha.
but it was fun!we took cable car to sentosa..benji was so funny..cos he's afraid of heights..hahaha..
den when we go there..they had a new addition!!chairlift!
its like the snowlifts at skiing mountains..
it brings you straight down to soliso/tanjong beach there..that means..near sunset bay.
woohooz.
it was so fun..
it goes up and down..benji was so scared again..it was hilarious.
and gavin kicked weiquan's slipper off!hahaha..so he bought weiquan a new pair.
so silly lor.
haha.
it was really fun hanging with them today..beach vball (thought i siamed more than i hit the ball..only did serving) haha...frisbee in water..kayaking..suntanning..a*hole daidee..
woo..
but one thing is..MY FACE HURTS NOW!!!
im red la!!
hahahaha..it doesnt hurt hurt..its the burnt hurt..haha..but tolerable pain la.
i cant wait for monday!can play and have some stuff to do!
and oh..next week is hols..hafta study hard..and..going swimming with my darlings on friday!!
im ecstatic!!i cant wait..
babes..im really missing you all much..you all are my home when i am away from home..each with a special place in my heart..i really dunnoe how i would survive if i didnt have you all..you all are really my angels..love you all much! -hugs-
i wanna maintain sanity.if it happens it does.i wldnt and i mustnt think abt it more than i should.i dont wanna get hurt again.i really dont.
Saturday, September 03, 2005
dear Lord,
i sing for joy at the work of Your hands,
forever i'll love You..forever i'll stand.
nothing compares to the promise i have in You.
i'm forever grateful to You,
im forever grateful for the cross,
im forever grateful to You,
that You came..to seek and save the lost.
open the eyes of my heart Lord.
i need direction in my life,
wouldnt you show me your way..because i know that its right.
set my focus solely on You..
my priorities need straightening out.
let all earthly distractions fall aside..
i want to run after You.
i want to be found in Your will.
i need reassurance.
i need You.
forever Yours,
aNdReA
i sing for joy at the work of Your hands,
forever i'll love You..forever i'll stand.
nothing compares to the promise i have in You.
i'm forever grateful to You,
im forever grateful for the cross,
im forever grateful to You,
that You came..to seek and save the lost.
open the eyes of my heart Lord.
i need direction in my life,
wouldnt you show me your way..because i know that its right.
set my focus solely on You..
my priorities need straightening out.
let all earthly distractions fall aside..
i want to run after You.
i want to be found in Your will.
i need reassurance.
i need You.
forever Yours,
aNdReA
this was at mos burger at jp..when the guy didnt let us order from our seats when we were just next to the counter..which in the end we did cos albert stood infront of the counter but he asked us what we wanted..so the girl just looked at us and took our orders..haha.and kind albert helping us pay..
